Being a parent is a demanding job, and that revelation happens only after you are much too deep in the business of parenting. Every day, parents give a lot of typical and mundane “parent talk” to their kids. But what should you say that’ll positively impact your kids? How can one be a good parent and yet a friend who cares?
Here’s a list of some selective phrases that, if used on a regular basis by the parents, will convey a sense of ease, confidence, love and reassurance to the kids and make them well rounded and confident individuals.
1. How Are You?
On most occasions, the answer will be a cryptic monosyllabic “good”. Do not deter, do not give up, for there will be a day that the answer will be true and honest. Parents must continue to show interest in listening to the children’s stories, no matter how repetitive or uninteresting. Remember, the information/stories that seem silly to the parents must be of more value to the kids thus their desire to share. In times of social media and technology, simple question/greeting of this nature will at least keep the communication channel open and let the kids know that they are always welcome to talk and we as parents are always here to listen. Answering simple questions also boosts their critical thinking skills and creates the need to solve their problems on their own.
2. Be kind
Sometimes, saying becomes a reality. We always motivate our children to be humble, to be kind to others. They will not make it a habit until they see us doing the same and until we appreciate them for doing so. So whenever you find your little ones doing an act of kindness, acknowledge it and let them know that you are proud of their actions. Philosophy books also say, “Don’t tell the kids what to do, Show them!”
3. Please / Thank You
It’s pretty simple; to get respect you have to give respect. The best way to teach good behavior to kids is by doing it ourselves. In a very competitive and cut throat environment in school and work, this basic human courtesy will empower the kids besides making them helpful and humble.
4. What do you think?
Encourage the kids to try and solve even the seemingly sticky problems. Ask them for their opinion, so that they know that what they think matters. Allow them to come up with solutions even if they don’t work. This exercise will reinforce their confidence and they will start thinking out of the box.
5. I know you can handle it / Give it your best shot.
As much as it is essential to be the support system of your kids, parents must ensure that children do believe in themselves first. Give them things to do on their own. Give them the opportunity to fail. Let them figure things out! They will learn that quitting should not be the first choice and that results happen only upon trying. Solving small childhood problems prepares them for bigger life issues.
6. Great Effort!
Everyone likes to be appreciated for a job well done or sometimes for not giving up. Appreciating your children for the hard work will also build their confidence. They will start learning life lessons at an early age. They will realize that sometimes failure is the answer, but that doesn’t mean that one gives up on future endeavors. “Winners are not Quitters, Quitters will never be winners!”
7. You’re so good at…
Parents should point out specific talents and attributes to their kids each day. It brings positive attention to children about their potential and how amazing they are. By telling them about that small right thing they did, will make a significant impact on a child’s psyche. And it will help them to recognize their strengths and develop it further.
8. How was your day?
As parents, we always want to be involved in their lives, to keep in touch with them. Ask about their day and be genuinely open about their point of view. Almost similar to “How are you?” ask these routine questions and one day they will respond with more than “Good’. And when they start to talk, just listen. Give them full attention. Listen to their stories. It will help them realize that you are there for them if something terrible happens to them.
9. We are all FLAWSOME! The glass is half full.
Pretending life is only about sunshine and rainbows will not help your child to adjust to reality. Teaching our kids to acknowledge the problems and finding a solution is a better way to teach your children that life is not all easy. Instead of complaining, try to find positivity in negative situations.
10. “It ain’t over, till it’s over.”
The profound words of wisdom from Yogi Berra are also the driving force behind each endeavor, each task, each attempt, each success and even each failure. Not just for the children; we need to believe as well that the anticipation of failure is worse than failure itself. We must give it all we got and then what will be, will be. Hopefully all effort would bear desirable fruits of success but if it doesn’t; the sun will shine again tomorrow and we can try again too.