This is part 3 in the series of How to build confidence. I suggest that you read Part 1and Part 2 if you haven’t already done so.
You are known by the people you consort with, and it’s very difficult to not be mindful of the opinions of people that surround you. We want to please and appeal. We want to be appreciated and commended. Just one criticism can negate the scores of compliments we may have enjoyed. We want to be liked by people; we want to have that ‘good image’ of ourselves in people’s mind; we want to be perceived in that one particular way and what not! We can WANT all of the above, but do know that only WE CAN DELIVER!
Why do we care so much about what others think about us?
The answer is a no-brainer. It’s because we want to be accepted. Acceptance is inclusion. The fear of isolation influences our feelings and actions. We start doing things with over thinking how our friends and family would react whether we like doing that or not. We start doing things to please others. The problem arises when we start anticipating others’ responses before every action, we stop listening to ourselves.
In the pursuit of “fitting in”, we start wasting our time thinking about what others are thinking about us. We want to be the best version of ourselves but in the eyes of others!
CHOOSE YOUR PEOPLE WISELY
If you really want to know/critique/grow yourself, listen to ‘your people’-People who understand you, people who are not biased and will tell you the truth, and most importantly, people who believe in you. Pick wisely and avoid those who can’t see you grow.
What if someone has a negative opinion about you?
FACE IT DOWN
Obviously, not everyone will like you. You have to accept this fact and move on. Constantly thinking about negative opinions will be a waste of your time and energy. Be true to yourself. You are who you are. Before you look for acceptance from others, you have to accept yourself. Knowing yourself will empower to overcome the anxiety related to others’ opinions.
While we do want to please and appeal everyone around us, make sure that you enjoy doing what you’re doing, else it’ll be a boring chore which will fail to tap into your interest and also the audiences’. Energies are contagious. What the audience receives from you is what they will reciprocate, so keep it happy, positive and honest.
DO WHAT YOU LIKE
As the millennial say, YOLO- You only live once. The usage might be in a different context; however, it does apply here as well. You just can’t go back in time and change your actions. So, do what you really want to. Have no regrets. Even if you’re scared of others opinion, just ask yourself, what’s the worst than can happen? Whatever would be the answer, I can guarantee you that it will not be end of the world, on the contrary, that gumption will open
new doors and bring new opportunities. Remember, No guts, No glory!